“The average person lies three times per ten minutes of conversation.”
- Paul Ekman
I believe this is true, especially if I include:
1. Lies of ommision
3. Lies to earn money
4. Lies to avoid people.
5. Lies to keep from hurting peoples feelings
6. When a person asked a difficult question, and we do not want to answer, so we give them a weasel answer.
7. Lies to try to find the best in people, it is natural to want to believe people, to believe in people, and give them the benefit of the doubt.
8. Lies to avoid an argument
"Paul Ekman (born February 15, 1934) is an American psychologist who has been a pioneer in the study of emotions and their relation to facial expressions. He has been considered one of the 100 most eminent psychologists of the twentieth century. The background of Ekman's research analyzes the development of human traits and states over time."
My Research on Dysfunctional Behavior by Andy Lee Graham
I, Andy Lee Graham have been doing research on dysfuctional behavior now for 25 years. In this time, I have collected over 400 specific identifiers, or examples of dysfunctional behavior.
Essentially, all dysfunctional behavior is based on some level of lying, there are conversations which do not function, there is nothing accomplished. When dealing with highly dysfunctional people, nothing seems to ever get done, there is nothing that functions.
Why? Because all the underlying stories, lies being told are thwarting progress for 100's of reasons.
This link below is to a web site recently launched by me, with the mission of defining the pros and cons of these thinking problems, and to find simple solutions:
If you do not trust yourself, you cannot do this.
I believe that a person with extremely high self esteem can tell the truth to anybody they meet. There is no need to have this romantic view of friendship with whom they confide, tell their innermost thoughts, everyone they meet is their best friend.
Sum up the Number of Secrets you Have?
You are well, happy, in accordance with the number of secrets you have. If you have a lot of secrets, then you are closer to being nuts. Truly, there is no reason to have secrets if you are honest, transparent, and forthright with people. A secret is to cover up something for which you are not proud of, something that you feel could hurt you if other knew.
My Daily Priority is to Surround Myself with Friends
I often wonder why I have never married, and one reason is I do not need one person to continually listen to me. I try my best to be honest, and I believe that honest people are obnoxious, I am an extremely obnoxious person to most people around me, they do not want to listen to me.
I want to surround myself with people who are for the most part nice all day, they are not searching for ways of being clever.
Honest People are Obnoxious While Dishonest People are Soothing.
I have learned to keep my mouth shut, to not offer my opinion unless a person demands it, I have almost a zero desire to change people I meet in my daily life. It is not live and let live, it is me walking away when I am around people who want to be clever, and want to benefit by being sneaky and deceitful.
Keep Away from Temptations
Another epiphany, I just realized, one reason I do not like to buy things is because this is where people lie to me the most. If I do not buy, then I do not need to listen to people lying to me.
If I do not watch the news, I do not need to listen to lies.
There are countries, and cultures who want to be friendly.
I think of the people who live on Lago Atitlan, they cannot stop themselves, they want to say hello. Yes, if you try to buy something, they will lie, but if you just walk down the streets, they want to say hello, you say Hola, you have about a 95 percent chance or more they will say hello back.
I surround myself with people who want to be friendly, that is my secret to friendships.
I can live without close friends to tell lies to, because I have no secrets I am dying to tell.
I need to be surround