Guatemala Travel Stories, Page 3

Amor Fati: Ironic Coincidence Kicks Me to Think about Paraguay

I received an e-mail from Richard, more or less hoping I go to Paraguay, (I was there once.)
--- Then I received maybe the next day, while I was still pondering what to do with the e-mail, another e-mail update giving me background notes on Paraguay. (Paraguay has entered my brain.)
--- Ergo: Amor Fati

Location of Paraguay in South America

Reader wrote:

Dear Andy:
I've heard Paraguay is a nice place and I hope you are able to visit some time soon. I'm looking for a retirement destination that's off the beaten path. Your comments would be a big help.

This is the page that leads to a link that is guaranteed to break because the USA government hires people with no understanding of Web Sites. (Solution Hire Aaron Wall.)

You can subscribe to receive this in your e-mail box, which is horribly difficult, almost impossible for me to explain how:

Read, learn what is the population, languages, location and religion, and try to ignore warnings, and never tell an experience travel about the warnings: He or she will think (Know) you are stupid, naïve, and American --- Tourists, they always make countries seem rotten, except for countries where we do lots of business.

Lago Atitlan, Guatemala
(One of the perfect climates and most beautiful locations on earth.)
by Andy Graham (Gadget) of | Gadget Profile


Map of Paraguay

Retiring in Paraguay

"I'm looking for a retirement destination that's off the beaten path."
- Quote from Richard the Reader
I have a friend John D, from the USA, that lived in Paraguay teaching English for years. Personally, I have never heard of anyone postulating retiring in Paraguay.

NOTE: I refuse, never, seldom, I just do my best to ignore any web site about retiring overseas, they are the worlds most dangerous liars. Why? There are sites like "International Living" which specialize in convincing innocent, naïve Americans to buy South American property at USA prices, truly a land scam in my opinion.

Nothing more evil than convincing an OLD person to spend their lives savings on a bad investment.

--- Or there are Expatriates who purchased land, built a house in Costa Rica, then know they hate the country, know they must lie and sell to the next stupid American moving down.

I hope Richard Wrote me because he trust me:
I have no idea if Paraguay is a good place to retire, I would like to return there, I only was in the country for one night in Ciudad del Este, and I remember one pertinent thing, they do not speak Spanish, the majority of the population speaks Guaraní, and full of Arabs at the border city.

That is my first impression, which I guarantee is almost worthless.

As many readers notice, I have stopped looking the world from the eyes of 25 year old beach bum, and started looking a the world from the eyes of a 55 year old man who wants to avoid young idiots.

I want to find better locations to live, I am not going to say retire, because American then think "BUY REAL ESTATE." and the last thing I am going to do unless I become a Millionaire is buy Real Estate overseas. Not totally true, I am often tempted to offer 1/3 the asking price to desperate Expats and sell the property for "ME."

I am not sure what to say, I am not refusing to go to Paraguay, the problem for me is always the price of plane tickets. I just paid 2000 USD to pop to Senegal from Ivory Coast, then back to Ghana, then from Ghana to Dominican Republic, then from there to here, Guatemala, and soon to the USA to see my mother. Then to boot, the Big G has oogles of ability to cut me out of money because they are a monopoly,.

1. You trust Andy Graham
2. Andy Graham is a good person to investigate locations for retirement.
3. Andy Graham has the time and ability to travel to countries, and you do not.
4. Andy Graham does not need a good reason to travel to weird countries.
5. The cost of you going is going to be 2000 USA just to decide you do not like the place.

It cost Andy Graham 700 USD for a plane ticket, if he had 700 USD for the place ticket to anywhere, he would use it.

--- You are now suppose to draw conclusions from the assumption, maybe deductive mixed with inductive logic.

Fun stuff, however in the end, people choose retirement locations for emotional reasons, and call it logical, in reality they move to places where the most amount of liars are making web sites about. Where the most amount of Expats are trying to sell or scam other Expats into buying the home they cannot sell to anyone local, because the locals are too smart.

My Advice on Choosing Retirement Locations
Retire in six locations around the planet, and continually move between the six locations, life will always be good, and rent the homes from the Expats that cannot sell them because they are not worth what they asking.

Think "House Sitting, " eventually if you join this site, connecting the two people will be facilitated here on,

Amor Fati: Ironic Coincidence Kicks Me to Think about Paraguay

Steven Spielberg Discovered Tin Tin for a Movie

Yes, I want to celebrate the genius of Steven Spielberg today, he is an amazing man. If you dwell on the word genius, you will find it has many meanings, and Steven has one of the characteristics of a genius, he sees more than others.

There is a new movie out by Steven Speilber about Tin Tin. Steven Spielberg has now jumped to another level of understanding, he see the global citizenship value of Tin Tin, I applaud his understanding of planet earth.

There is a saying,
"He who taste of the Lotus will travel and never return home."
Tin Tin on Eating the Lotus Flower

Spielberg is Genius
A characteristic of a genius that stands out to me it this, they see the world more clearly than the rest of us…
A genius is able to see more than what is obvious, then understands relationships between things the average person cannot recognize at the conscious level.

Lago Atitlan, Guatemala
(One of the perfect climates and most beautiful locations on earth.)
by Andy Graham (Gadget) of | Gadget Profile


Whatever Forever?

Tin Tin is one of the most important travelers on the planet --- and if you travel the planet you will see Tin Tin has already beaten you there, he arrive years before you.

Andy Graham’s, ME --- Writing about Tin Tin already, whatever, forever…

Tin Tin in Koh Pha Ngan, Thailand

Tin Tin in Barcelona

Tin Tin in Istanbul, Turkey

Tin Tin in Cambodia

A Life Without Borders Tin Tin to the Moon
This photo's source is A Life Without Borders Tin Tin to the Moon

tin tin real traveler
This photo's source is tin tin real traveler

Steven Spielberg Discovered Tin Tin for a Movie

My friend James is the Champion of One-Liner Wisdoms

"Wisdom is the most with fewer words."
- Andy Graham
That is called an Epigraph, Ashley taught me that word, Thank you.

James Easter A Life Without Borders in Lago Atitlan
This photo's source is James Easter A Life Without Borders in Lago Atitlan

James is a good friend of mine who live on Lago Atitlan, I am going to meet him for breakfast today 8:00 at the Dinosaur Café in Pana. I think the real name is the El Dorado at the top of Santander, they have a good 22 Q breakfast.

He is the champion of saying wise statements that are incredibly easy to miss, because they are:

1. Extremely short.
2. Wrapped in a joke.
3. Sound cynical
4. Use of words in non-standard construction of sentence, tantamount to jargon.
5. He talk mono, he does not accent words when he is being cynically wise

I will celebrate James in my book about the The Good Life.

Lago Atitlan, Guatemala
(One of the perfect climates and most beautiful locations on earth.)
by Andy Graham (Gadget) of | Gadget Profile

"Sometimes we are inclined to class those who are once-and-a-half witted with the half-witted, because we appreciate only a third part of their wit."
- Henry David Thoreau

The work is listening to James
I enjoy practicing my listening skills, they are fading as I grow older because my memory is not as good as 20 years ago. When James speaks, I often repeat back what he says, it is often a push to get him to repeat it twice, which is the nature of enigmatic cynical, wisecrack wisdoms.

My friend James is the Champion of One-Liner Wisdoms

My Life Goal: Avoiding Annoyingly Anal Activities and Associated Acquaintances

I live in a Hotel room worth 150 USD per night in global tourism values, I am very proud of this room and never ashamed.

My Life Goal: Avoiding Annoyingly Anal Activities and Associated Acquaintances
Ergo: I want to be proud of me, and of you is the benefit. However, more importantly, I will not feel guilt or shame, and there will be no monkeys on my back, and nobody will be playing ping pong in my brain. (I am happy.)

Sextuplets, I am very proud of myself for that title--- my friend John came to Guatemala last year, then read a book by Paul Theroux I loaned him, then commented that Paul was excellent at a writing style I believe called b John,
"Doublets and Triplets."

Example: Paul, Personal and Perfect (P P P)

Being that I am trying to emulate, copy, do many interesting writing thing on the same path at Paul Theroux, I often try to experiment with this style of writing. Why? Is the good question.

Two - Doublets
Three – triplets
Four --- quadruplets
Five --- quintuplets
Six --- sextupletsI think or believe I did a sextuplet, but who truly cares.. (Me)
Seven --- septuplets
Eight --- octuplets
Nine --- nontuplets
Ten --- dectuplets

This could be confused with lawyers creating doublets:
Legal Doublets

rest, residue and remainder (Oops, maybe a doubling of styles.)
cease and desist
due and payable
final and conclusive
indemnify and hold harmless
null and void
part and parcel
sale or transfer
terms and conditions
will and testament

Why write using doublets or triplets?
This is the fun stuff, the writing style that makes writing into a muse, a song, a voice talking to you musically and hypnotically, until you are lost and enjoying being lost in reading. The time --- when time passes and you cannot remember what happened, the art of happiness.

It is the style and voice that turns writing into music.

Lago Atitlan, Guatemala
(One of the perfect climates and most beautiful locations on earth.)
by Andy Graham (Gadget) of | Gadget Profile


If you choose a truly great room, that is unbelievably affordable, you will always live in paradise, because a great value gives you a warm and loving feeling. (Ergo: Rooms that cost less than 15 USD per night in Paradise.)

My Lifestyle Goal
1. My daily goal is to remove from my life the idiots close enough to hear.
2. My daily goal is to encourage my close friends to do the same.
3. My daily goal is to live a good life, to be a great example, therefore Myself, Mother, Father, Family and Friends are proud to call me their friend.

How is this accomplished? By Avoiding Annoyingly Anal Activities and Associated Acquaintances.

The Remaindering is GREAT
I do not approach life as trying to accomplish something, instead I approach each day as the removal of the obstacles thereby granting the remainder of my time to what is leftover, the good.

If I remove the "Six A’s" here, I will be happy, it is the remaindering.

If I remove the "Six A’s" here I will have a lot of time to work (play) on fun projects, it is the remaindering.

I always have a lot of free time, because I seldom make plans, seldom make appointments, and religiously avoid people who are busy that somehow hook me into doing stupid things with them, it is the remaindering that is important, not the doing in life.

Burrito Factory in San Pedro

Boat Prices on Lago Atitlan still an argument.

Perfectly Beautiful Day on Lago Atitlan

Beautiful Mayan Children

My Life Goal: Avoiding Annoyingly Anal Activities and Associated Acquaintances

Guatemala boys on Lago Atitlan have began to beg for money

I am a natural, I can sell anything to anybody. I hate this about myself: I wake up in cold sweats at night, I have nightmares about this, I wish I was kidding, but I am not.
"I am afraid I will talk someone into doing something, and the person will began to hate me."

I have lost all my friend three times in my life.

I love the people in my life, if I ask too much of them, they leave me.
--- I do not want to be alone or lonely.
People hate beggars, even if they are not begging.

If you are reading this, then I know I am entertaining you, if I ask you do something, I am asking because I have the right to ask, it is the price you should pay, it is not begging. Do you want something for nothing?

Shoe Shine Boys Talking with Each other, Guatemala
This photo's source is Shoe Shine Boys Talking with Each other, Guatemala

These a good boys, working for money, a natural and healthy thing on the planet, this is NOT SOME STUPID CHILD LABOR THING.

Please, please, buy from the locals, and do not give all your support to the Americans or Europeans in Guatemala, but Guatemalan in Guatemala, buy American in America.

Lago Atitlan, Guatemala
(One of the perfect climates and most beautiful locations on earth.)
by Andy Graham (Gadget) of | Gadget Profile


The Guatemala boys begging are great sale people.
I walked out of my hotel yesterday, made it to the corner and boy approximately 10 years old came up to me and said in English,
"I am hungry, give me money."

I hate what I see in myself.
I hate what I see in myself.

There are some truly brilliant boys around Lago Atitlan:

1. They discovered the Gringos are very naïve
2. They discovered the Gringos think Guatemalan people are poor and hungry.
3. They discovered the Gringos give money to hungry people.
4. They learned how to say hungry in English.
5. They learned how to find a Gringo alone, separated from the other Guatemalan locals.
(Guatemalan people do not approve of this from people.)
6. They learned to beg, because it works, they get money for nothing.

Guatemalan people ARE NOT BEGGARS
I have always been proud to be around Guatemalan people, they are stand up people. The Guatemalan people believe in work, they do not try to be clever to earn money. The go to Church, they work, they support their families, and work hard, yes, they have a problem with alcohol, but generally this society will work for money, they do not beg.

I am sad, there are so many missionaries, do gooders here in Guatemala, the locals have finally have put 2 and 2 together and realized, and embraced begging.

Globalization of Begging
There is nothing more morally corrupting than giving a person something for nothing.

I can use myself as an example, all the problems in my life came from being smart and clever. I can charm people out of money, now I try my best to be obnoxious enough, whereby people around me have to use their brains, and ignore my obnoxious behavior thus making good decisions. I hate my clever nature, I hate my charming side, it caused me tons of problems.

Well, another culture is going down the tubes, another culture is slowly learning to beg, to celebrate clever, and look at people who work hard as being stupid.

NGO - Non Governmental Organizations
NGO - Nothing Good Organizations

Globalization of begging at an ever increasing speed,

Guatemala boys on Lago Atitlan have began to beg for money

I Have 44 Travel Movies to Review for my List of Best Travel Movies

I watched the movie "Out of Africa." with Meryl Streep, and Robert Redford last night for maybe the fourth time, not a good thing to do, when Bah my Ivory Coast girlfriend is there, and I am here, I truly miss her.

My list of 21 best travel movies --- or the list of movies I have watched and included in the review:
Best Travel Movies

I have 44 more to watch, then include, and I am sure the list will continue to grow.

Trying to be serious about Best Travel Movies reviews.
Most reviews are close to worthless, unless done by an obsessed person, therefore to write travel reviews for the Best Travel Movies, a person needs to be obsessed about:

Obsessed with:
1. Travel
2. Watching Movies

3rd, the person needs access to all the movies to review, which is an incredibly difficult feat to accomplish, especially for real travelers who are obsessed with travel. I cannot just go rent the movie, any obsessed traveler has a huge problem. If they can just go rent a movie, then they are not an obsessed traveler. (Addicted to Travel.)

I get the movies through nefarious means, hehehe

Then, the person has to have a place to post their reviews, maybe a newspaper, magazine of on an Internet page. But also let us be real, this is just the Best Travel Movies in the English language, I am not going to learn German to review movies. But I am now capable with the Spanish and French ones, but still a rather un-enjoyable experience.

How to allow Pro Travelers to Review movies?
I have a list now of maybe 17-21 Pro or Expert Travelers, maybe two of them are not obsessed and should be disqualified. But the other 19 are definitely my type of traveler, they travel in the same style as me, or close and have a clue why they or other people travel. And could identify these aspects while watching a movie…

List of Pro Travelers:
A pro traveler can explain long list of reasons why people travel, they can tell you the underlying reasons why people travel the world, and why a travel destination is good or bad. Generally, these Pros do not fall for great marketing packages, they chose their locations with a lot of wanderlust involved, serendipity and time, not by reading travel brochures and guidebooks, written by people who are not Pro Travelers. I believe this growing group are best qualified to review travel movies, and identify the aspects of the movie that are travel identifiers, and not just drama or comedy.

The problem is they are travelers, they cannot just go rent movies.

List of Pro Travelers

Lago Atitlan, Guatemala
(One of the perfect climates and most beautiful locations on earth.)
by Andy Graham (Gadget) of | Gadget Profile


44 Movies in the Queue to Review

1. 180 Degrees South
2. A Good Year
3. A Map for Saturday
4. Amelie
5. An Education
6. Away We Go
7. Chasing Liberty
8. Christopher Columbus
9. City of God
10. Darjeeling Limited
11. Encounters at the End of the World
12. Eurotrip -- (Started to watch) This is a silly movie... started could not continue.
13. Genghis Blues
14. Gone with the Wind - (What you believed in, the way you lived, is gone with the wind)
15. In Bruges
16. In July (Im Juli)
17. L’auberge Espangnole (The Spanish Apartment)
18. Last Stop for Paul
19. Lost in Translation - (Watched) A classic phrase, but more cliche.
20. Nowhere in Africa
21. One Week
22. Pierrot le fou
23. Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)
24. Que Tan Lejos (How Much Further)
25. Revolutionary Road
26. Roman Holiday
27. Shanghai Kiss
28. The Darjeeling Limited
29. The Inn of the Seventh Happiness (Submitted by LazyBeacher in comments)
30. The Passenger
31. The Sheltering Sky
32. The Third Man
33. Under the Tuscan Sun
34. UP
35. Vicky Cristina Barcelona
36. View From The Top
37. Whale Rider
38. Y Tu Mama Tambien
39. National Lampoon's European Vacation (1985)
40. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989)
41. Vegas Vacation (1997)
42. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie's Island Adventure (2003)
43. Hotel Hell Vacation (2010)

I Have 44 Travel Movies to Review for my List of Best Travel Movies

I Live in an Imperfect World and the only Perfection is Fantasy

People will only pay for fantasy, because they are searching for the perfect world. Soon we are going to serve up readers only a fantasy world, and hide the real world. The truth does not sell on the Internet, only fantasy. We will never reveal the negatives, we will only show the positives and allow readers to be ambushed the same as all the other sites.

15 minutes of Fame

"In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes."
- Quote from Andy Warhol

They say, we only have five friends in life…
They say, we have 15 minutes of fame…
They say, people love me for who I am…
They say, do not pay attention to what other people say…


"Somewhere on this planet it must exist a place, an experience, an encounter that changes everything."

- The Movie - The Beach
"I with you all the way Daffy."
--- The Movie -- The Beach

Lago Atitlan, Guatemala
(One of the perfect climates and most beautiful locations on earth.)
by Andy Graham (Gadget) of | Gadget Profile


I am between a rock and a hard spot.
Google says, only perfect is acceptable, or we give you zero rank, you must be loved.
Facebook say, only a like is good.
99 percent of readers want fantasy, and explanation of real world make no money.
WordPress allows an idiot to make a beautiful web site, we are competing with no brains.

They idiots are multiplying at an exponential rate, and Daffy, I am with you all the way, I know they are going to destroy my perfect beach.

I am a moralist, I am an ethical person, it pains me to even think of writing something that is a fantasy. 99.99 percent of travel writing is hokey at best, a lie is normal, and the truth is so rare, that when people read the truth, they believe it is a lie.

What is the solution? My solution is to write books, it is the only way to make money, the internet has become a place where only fantasy sells, the untruth of the world is of value to readers.
(Note: CNN is Fantasy)

I am not going to stop Blogging, but you are going to find it extremely difficult to find the Travel Blog. I enjoy writing to myself, it is cathartic, it is revealing, it takes abstract thoughts and forces them enter the light of day.

What do you need to do, nothing if you have subscribe by e-mail, it will continue, but the Blog links will disappear off the index of, because we must dumb down the site to unbelievable levels to make money. We must assume 99 percent of readers have no ability to think, and we must use the same standards as other sites, we must be tricky.

Many readers have written and complained to me about the request to click on pages. I could have easily made the Blog go Page One, Page Two, Page Three, Page Four and separated it into ten pages, make more money, and make it incredibly difficult to read, that is the tricky way of doing things, and something reader will not complain about. Honest desires, and they complain, I will become a hermit soon.

I have given extremely strict orders to Andrew, boy Genius, make the site simple enough for idiots, and hide the truly intelligent stuff. Show only perfection, the real world of life is going to be hidden from people. If you want read the real world, then you will be required to buy books on paper, not in digital format.

Boat Ride to San Pedro

I Live in an Imperfect World and the only Perfection is Fantasy

I Moved from Pana to San Pedro Lake Atitlan Guatemala

I took an 80 USD taxi from the airport to Pana, spent nine days in Pana, said hello to all the older Panajachel Expat friends and now I am in San Pedro de Laguna on the other side of the lake.

I am age 55, but for some odd reason, all the people the same age as me are older than me.

Lago Atitlan, Guatemala
(One of the perfect climates and most beautiful locations on earth.)
by Andy Graham (Gadget) of | Gadget Profile


San Pedro is full of Hippie Chicks with Tattoos
There is always a trade off, older dope smokers, or younger ones with tattoos, the defining grace of Lago Atitlan is the mystic of smoking dope. In reality, I seldom smell marijuana, nonetheless, this lake is a dope smokers paradise, the place to have like kind people around you, on the other hand, I do not smoke or drink, so why am I here?

Well, the locals are great, the tourists are as close to the globalization of idiots as it gets on planet earth. However, as always, there is the 1 in 50 that I rather sane, sensible, and down to earth in any location, so I tend to ignore tourists and Expats.

The locals are great, and the altitude at 1500 meters above sea level in the tropics makes this the most perfect climate for anywhere I have been in 13 years of perpetual travel. Bottom line, this is probably the best place to retire I know of on planet earth if you are still married, and rather difficult if you are single.

If there was a way to import 50 Filipina girls or 50 Ivory Coast girls, this place would be heaven,

Young American Girls with Tattoo or Missionaries
I am not sure what to do with the young American or old American women on this lake, I try my best to avoid them. I am not sure what is up with the American culture, but it is dipping to all time lows for lovability.

The girls are not lovable, and have fat ankles, they treat people as if they are somehow special, they dress frumpy, are chubby and have no knowledge of the world. The European girls are a little better, but generally, Facebook and Tattoos have rob the brains from these people.

Boys, I guess I have no opinion, I ignore them completely,

Generally, any location on the planet is great if you are capable of separating the chickens, dogs, and general lunatics away from your hotel or apartment room. I am great here in San Pedro, the hotel is as perfect as it gets, and I can walk into the lunatic asylum anytime I wish.

Note, I know how to talk "Veggie" and can take the piss at high levels of conversation speed.

I Moved from Pana to San Pedro Lake Atitlan Guatemala

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